I must be doing something wrong. Must have run dry the jar of luck. Behind the glass lies a Narnia, My juices should be over flowing with excitement, i should be adventurous and walk right through in anticipation of all the new challenges the world has yet to offer. But I stand and linger. Maybe it is the look in the eyes of them refection. That girl knows more than she’s letting on, has she been keeping secrets from me again? She knows something! I am no Olivia Pope but I know when to trust my gut, this makes me want to double check my options. My optimism that never runs dry like the river between seems to be harboring a middle Eastern visitor. I can feel it draining away leaving me with a kind of emptiness I haven’t felt in a while. I want to thin I am overthinking this but I’d also like to think I’m a gladiator; and gladiators fight and die with honor not false hope and failed attempts to twist fate to our own happy endings.
Crossroads. None appealing whatsoever. Not a time to make mistakes but how else will you ever know? Try to numb out everything remotely human, allow the hand of depression you been keeping at bay to caress your thoughts and whisper sweet nothings to your shallow hollow soul or what is left of it. Make a deduction that renders everyone else insignificant, the world a mere experiment, your life reduced to mere chase moves (the losing side) Ask yourself why you need to make an effort anymore- nobody notices even! Laugh hysterically at your own insignificance in this big endless pointless game. What do you expect at the end of the road? a big hug and chunk of ice cream? Clueless!! Take the road, don’t take the road, Ignore your gut- you don’t have Quinn to run it by, step into Narnia and let the winds of fate have fun with the newest believer or stare at your own reflection until everything falls into place. I don’t know man, Nobody really cares!